Testify! Don't justify.

2008-11-20T01:01:00.000-08:00

I've never cared much for blogs, but I was inspired to write this one by the obnoxious show Stylista. Not, obviously, because I liked the show, but because I was especially irritated by one of the competitors. I think her name was Danielle. But she was probably most memorable for being the only fat person on camera, which I'll grant was probably pretty difficult--but she shouldn't have been there at all.

In the last few years we've seen the nation go nuts over the obesity epidemic, but at the same time there's been a big thing about improving our body images. So people who have some meat on their bones are getting some limelight, like on Ugly Betty or one of the characters on Grey's Anatomy. Which is great.

But then there's this chick on Stylista--I guess in the spirit of accepting our bodies, or some shit like that, they came up with a fat girl. Don't get me wrong, that would be great too, except that the message sent wasn't that it's okay to be fat. I've only seen one episode of this show, and maybe this was the "Danielle is fat" episode, but she spent a good deal of time whining and crying about her weight and her body image and what everyone else thought of her, while at the same time claiming that she was totally comfortable with herself. Nobody offered any support, except out of feelings of obligation.

But what I found most irritating was her apparently uncontrollable urge to justify herself to everyone around her. When she was eating pizza she informed everyone that even though she didn't look it, she didn't eat much. "Oh, I'm so full!" she exclaimed.

This was the point where I wished I had faked a fashion resume, auditioned for the show and acted like I could start some drama (you know that's how they cast it), and gotten on just so I could be there and say, "Shit Danielle, I'll eat all your pizza and then some, because I really don't give a fuck, and you shouldn't either." She would say, "But I don't! I'm so comfortable with myself!" (She did say that) and I would wave a greasy finger and explain:

You don't need to justify yourself. People don't always judge you automatically; a lot of the time they take their cues from you. If you are constantly justifying your weight, or your habits--say, your crazy love for those Twilight books--that tells me that you need justifying. I hate it when people justify themselves to me, because I lose respect for them. I may never understand or even appreciate your crazy love for vampire romance, but if you say you only like it because your little sister made you read them, you're just giving me cause to disrespect you, because if you can't respect your own choices then I can't either.

Danielle should realize that being overweight doesn't invalidate her as a person. It may not be physically healthy, but telling herself she's okay with it when she's not isn't emotionally healthy. She needs to either actually be okay with it or just lose the weight--but losing weight still won't make her emotionally healthy, because if she feels like she needs to justify herself to people for her weight, chances are she'll need to justify everything else.

Yeti Betty

Testify! Don't justify.